Is there something good between hate & love?

I was taking a shower when I said for myself: "Why don't you tell something about Panic! today?" Well, I decided to talk about how I met Panic! at the Disco, my favorite band. 

I remember I was pretty fan of Fall Out Boy. I knew everything there were about Pete, about his band. Well, I hated Brendon all the time without to know him and I hated when someone called Peter Wentz for "Peter! at the Disco". I remember when I knew about the bottle in that festival I said "well, he deserves it". I thought Brendon was a "poser" of Pete. 

My life isn't wonderful, but I liked it. Someday I loged in on my MSN and I had a friend that I used to talk everyday and she sent me a lot of pics from Pete and than she changed her DP for this one of Brendon. I said "OMFG how cute Pete is in this picture" and she said: "Lully, isn't Pete. This is Brendon Urie from Panic!" and I said "No, this is Pete. I know. Send me the pic!" She sent as I asked and then I saw Brendon. I remember I said "Danm, this guy isn't Pete." and I noticed that I've never heard to Panic! and every fucking time I took a chance I used to say "how panic! can be so awful?" 

So I said to my friend "hey, send me a song from panic!" and she said to me "no, do it by yourself". I almost gave up to do it, but I've never liked to hate something or someone without a real reason. I had nothing to hate Panic! at the Disco. I remember I put on Ares three songs: "Camisado", "Relax Relapse" and "It's Time to Dance ('Cause Boys Will Be Boys). I remember I put the video from "Lying..." to load and then I listend to. Well I hated them once more!

Well, for me, it's so fun to say for everyone that I do not met my favourite band like almost every single fan. Frist song I listened to was Lying... and I hated this one and said for myself "well, I was fucking right. Ana is wrong. These guys are awful." 

My cousin saw Lying... with me and he said "what's the sense of this video and I said "I don't really know, but you can't wait sense to these guys. It's so awful and... and... I don't know why I'm watching these guys." 

Today I think this song deseverd a better clip. 

So a few days before it happened, I put in my Ares the songs I was downloaded. Well, I hated Time to Dance too as I hated Lying... but Camisado and Relax Relapse I loved to! Well, it was a story, but I disliked to like two song of this band. I listened to it without none see! Well I decided to downloaded their album and I hated it too...  I saw every fucking clip and the only one I loved too much was "But it's better if you do" because I always love cabaret and masks! 

Then I decided to leave Panic! alone, but I couldn't to! I made an account on p!atdbr and I always stayed silent when I was in there, 'cause I had shame to read everything I found about them on the internet. I read to critic and to point their mistakes. But something change when I noticed I was looking like a child. So I saw everything about Panic! again, with other eyes and when I read the Ryan's biography I started to cry, 'cause I put myself on his place! And I saw Build God Then We'll Talk and for first time I thought it was amazing. 

So I started to write fanfics and I wrote Frerard. but one day I try to write a Ryden EVEN hating this band. Everytime some friend of mine was talking about Panic! I was still talking "I hate them!" but I listened to them every fucking day.  I remember at school some friends were reading a magazine when someone read "Panic! at the Disco is in the mountain to write their first album" and I said "See! They are so bad!" and my BFF said to that guys "she hate them and I can't understad why."

Well, I saw when they realized "Nine in the Afternoon" and I was getting an addicted. Every fucking day I had to listen to this song. As same way I did with A Fever I hear to Nine in the Afternoon but when I saw this panic! video clipe I don't know what the hell changed on me. I said for myself that I shouldn't have shame on this band. They was great, anyway.

So I read a interview with Spencer and he was talking about the dancers. I swear to you all, I got up to the chair and applause my boy and said "Why I've never noticed this guy before?" Spencer Smith and your interviews changed my mind about his band about music...

Then I went to my school and I can't hear anything more than Panic! and my BFF saw me in the street and he said to me "What are you listened to?" and I said (with proud, believe) "Panic! at the Disco" he started to laugh and asked "you are sick, aren't you? do you have some fever?" and I said "No. I have no shame to say it anymore. I became a fan of Panic!"  This is the first time I said  "yes, I'm a sinner with pride."

So if there is something good between hate and love I'm the proof. 

Your Lully.